One morning, I met with Shiri, a 22-year-old delicate, beautiful, and intelligent girl who has been anorexic for 3 years. We met in the park. Shiri had thought a lot about joining the project. In our first conversation, when I explained the process we would go through together and what I expected from her, she got a bit anxious. The thought of having to imagine her future life scared her. “What if I reach 30 and all the things I wanted don’t happen? What if I disappoint myself and forever have a painting in front of me that expresses all the good things I wished for myself?” I didn’t try to convince her. I just told her my motto on the subject: “It’s better to aim high and hit the middle than not to aim at all… Don’t let fear control your life.”

And now we are here. The green and bright park complemented her features very well. We sat on the grass. Shiri had a normal childhood and adolescence and joined the army, where the illness erupted. After basic training, she was sent to a base and didn’t return home for three weeks. Then, her family started noticing she was losing weight. At the same time, she was sent for medical tests because she was suffering from heart rhythm problems. After finding nothing, she was sent to a psychiatrist. Eventually, she was diagnosed with anorexia and was discharged from the army. That was the biggest disappointment she had experienced. She disappointed herself and since then has not stopped disappointing.

“I see all my friends around me, finishing the army, taking the psychometric test, and starting to study, and what about me? Sitting at home between four walls. I can’t break free from the thing I excel at the most, it fills 99 percent of my existence.” 
After reading my story, she tells me she identifies mostly with the feeling of living a lie. “That’s why I can’t leave the house and start studying, so I won’t mislead people, so they won’t think everything is fine,” she says.