The story behind the paintings
Until the age of 39, I had a secret. Only my family and close friends knew about it. Before I turned 40 I decided to get rid of the shame and share my story.
At the age of 16, I was diagnosed with anorexia.
My parents had no idea what this beast was and how to deal with it. After being treated for a short period at a facility for eating disorders, and after convincing my parents that I could get out of it alone, I ended the treatment.
Then came the bulimia.
It was a difficult and depressing eating disorder that accompanied me from the age of 18 to 31; it was there during my army service, on a trip to South America, and during my four years of design studies. Black and dark beast that never let go and did not let me rest.
They say being aware of a problem is 50% of the solution. I was conscious of my illness from an early age, and in my adult life I tried to take care of myself: I went to psychologists, psychiatrists, and alternative therapists, but none of these treatments helped. Painting has always been my refuge. Lots of black, sadness, and frustration were present in my artwork.
In one of my classes in college, my art teacher asked me to remove the black color from the scale. “You escape there too quickly, do without it,” he said. By challenging me he was, in essence, the first person who gave me the option to take the black out of my life.
After I graduated, I moved to Tel Aviv and started working in advertising agencies. Since I lived with roommates, the disorder became far more burdensome. The side effects worsened: frequent dental treatments, hair loss, and a stop of the menstrual cycle.
Before I turned 30 I went on to live by myself. The disease escalated, self-beating and austerity were an inseparable part of my life. I did not believe I would reach the age of thirty, and suddenly, to my great surprise, I passed that age. Now What? I had no dreams for the future or long-term plans.
One day, a good friend told me that I should add a painting of a relationship to the apartment. I decided to draw something spontaneously using leftover wall paints and in a new style. Thus, the first painting which opened the door to many more was born.
For a whole year, I painted in every spare moment, before and after work, on weekends and holidays – any free time was devoted to painting.
In the beginning, the paintings were cynical. But gradually I opened up and allowed myself to dream. I let my subconscious speak, not the rationale.
The Bride | 2003
the first painting in a new technique
The Bridegroom | 2003
The second painting came a little later.
Mirror | 2003
The painting that inspired “Project 2020”
At the end of that year, the house was full of color, optimism, and love. At the end of that year, my partner arrived. And I, contrary to any “sick logic”, let him enter.
Slowly I opened my heart and my life to him. And he, surprisingly, stayed.
Today, after 20 years, I am healthy, happy, in an amazing relationship, and a mother of two wonderful boys. Today I live the vision I created in my artwork.
In retrospect, over the years, I found myself in the situations I painted during the darkest period of my life.
I was surprised to discover the meaning and power of the healing that the paintings gave me, some of which fully materialized for me in reality.
At the end of that year, the house was full of color, optimism, and love. At the end of that year, my partner arrived. And I, contrary to any “sick logic”, let him enter.
Slowly I opened my heart and my life to him. And he, surprisingly, stayed.
Today, after 20 years, I am healthy, happy, in an amazing relationship, and a mother of two wonderful boys. Today I live the vision I created in my artwork.
In retrospect, over the years, I found myself in the situations I painted during the darkest period of my life.
I was surprised to discover the meaning and power of the healing that the paintings gave me, some of which fully materialized for me in reality.
Against the background of my personal story, in 2012 “Project 2020”, an optimistic social art project, was born.
The crowdfunding project page
The process of creating the theme painting of the 2020 project, inspired by the meeting with Tamar Brauner
COMPASS | The theme painting of “Project 2020, an optimistic social art project”
The crowdfunding project page
COMPASS | The theme painting of “Project 2020, an optimistic social art project”
The process of creating the theme painting of the 2020 project, inspired by the meeting with Tamar Brauner
The project, which was crowd-funded, aims to give hope to women who suffer from eating disorders and raise awareness of the problem.
During the project, which lasted approximately three years, I met with 11 women suffering from anorexia, bulimia, and compulsive eating. Based on our meetings and a detailed questionnaire I prepared, I drew to each of them a painting: a personal and optimistic mirror for inspiration, a future visual vision for 2020.
In 2016, the project was showcased in a solo exhibition at Azul Gallery in Tel Aviv. In 2017, it was presented again at the Science, Management, and Education Library at Tel Aviv University, with curation by Hanita Elitzur.
I believe in the ability of art to do good and spread light and love in the world. I invite you to come in and look at my paintings, which completely changed my life.